At 22h00 six years ago I felt my heart break into a million little pieces. 2 days earlier we had visited the doctor because Rachel (then 2) had what looked like measles. I had undergone a pregnancy test, just to be safe and a blood test (to be extra sure), and the test had confirmed we were pregnant!

October 6th was also the day we had heard Aarons heartbeat, it was so strong, he was so there (24 weeks of there!) and yet that evening I lay awake in bed feeling like I was saying hello and goodbye all at once.

I remember willing myself to think beyond the doubts, beyond the intrusive thoughts that it was too soon to have another baby, to be positive and trust that all was well. But somewhere deep down it was as if I knew what was to come.

I fell asleep hugging my belly that night, hopeful that what I felt was just unfounded jitters and willed my heart to stop feeling the way it was.

And I prayed.

This is the start of my son, Aaron’s, story….

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